Its so strange how sometimes you can wait patiently for something for longer than you feel is fair. That you can wait for something for such a seemingly endless amount of time and for so long that you think you will only ever dream of it and never experience it. And then suddenly, it’s staring at you in the face. It’s looking into your eyes reading you like the words on a page and the chapters in a book. Its making you feel things that you could not ever have imagined. It’s validating you. And now that its there, Now that is right there at arms length. You can’t have it. It’s like a hologram hovering in front of you. A horrible joke. Someone playing a prank. Dangling the carrot in front of the donkey.
Even though you had that feeling and you got to know what it would be like
Even though for that one fleeting moment you felt worthy
Yes it’s a wonderful thing.
Yes it’s a second longer in your life that’s spent feeling special
But take it from me,
It leaves you feeling emptier.
Lonelier
Lost
And more abandoned than before.
It makes you feel like the person looking in. The friend trailing behind dragging her feet
But most of all, it makes you feel foolish. Foolish that you could let something get in the way of a potentially amazing thing. Foolish for even thinking you could ever really have such an ideal package. And foolish for not realizing earlier.
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