Invisible Enemy Whispering In My Ear.

Please stop speaking
Stop telling me what to do.
You're there every day
Every night, everywhere
Planted in the shadows
Hiding in the trees.

You tell me to do things
Some things I may not like
To slice so deep
To wound myself
Draw out my tainted blood.

Then I have to hide it.
You like that game I know.
Hide and seek with humans
See if they go unknown.

No one sees through me though,
You'll always lose that game
No one suspects a single thing.

But the problem is, that you don't give in
You continue to provoke.
You haunt and taunt and scream to me
You just won't leave me be.

One day I'll learn to ignore you,
To let my wounds heal up.
I'll tenderly touch my scars at night
Knowing I fought through.

I know one day I can achieve it
Be rid of you for good
I'll bear the war wounds from the darkened days
As my everlasting marker
Of what you made me do.

Have It Your Way.

Hold me
Touch me
Need me
Want me
Feel me

Leave me
Ignore me
Brush past me
Laugh at me

Stample on me
Trample me
Crush me
Finish me

Gone.

Life Can Be A Bitch.

Its so strange how sometimes you can wait patiently for something for longer than you feel is fair. That you can wait for something for such a seemingly endless amount of time and for so long that you think you will only ever dream of it and never experience it. And then suddenly, it’s staring at you in the face. It’s looking into your eyes reading you like the words on a page and the chapters in a book. Its making you feel things that you could not ever have imagined. It’s validating you. And now that its there, Now that is right there at arms length. You can’t have it. It’s like a hologram hovering in front of you. A horrible joke. Someone playing a prank. Dangling the carrot in front of the donkey.

Even though you had that feeling and you got to know what it would be like
Even though for that one fleeting moment you felt worthy
Yes it’s a wonderful thing.
Yes it’s a second longer in your life that’s spent feeling special

But take it from me,

It leaves you feeling emptier.
Lonelier
Lost
And more abandoned than before.

It makes you feel like the person looking in. The friend trailing behind dragging her feet

But most of all, it makes you feel foolish. Foolish that you could let something get in the way of a potentially amazing thing. Foolish for even thinking you could ever really have such an ideal package. And foolish for not realizing earlier.

The Darkest Kiss of All.

"...Now you see me lying here, so silent, so beautiful. You'll never hear me laugh again, you'll never see me smile, you'll never caress my soft skin, you'll never hold me close to you, you'll never kiss my lips, you'll never look into my eyes again and you'll never sing to me again. But you'll see me in your dreams, and I'll haunt you until the day you die because it was you who did it. It was you who killed me and I'll never let that go..."