I wish my reflection was me.

I'm trying to understand my emotions nowadays and neutralise the ones I'm not happy possessing.

sometimes i find it hard.
sometimes i find myself in an intense state of jealously and find there's nothing i can do about it.

Only when its seems that my dreams are being snatched away from me and placed out of my reach.

I crave the ability to do great things and become so successful but there just seems to be so much in my way stopping me...

...most of all, myself.

I don't really understand how it is that i manage to stop myself getting where i want to be. I can only get there if i really want it - which i do - and yet i then work against myself knowingly.

I just look in the mirror and i don't like who i see sometimes. Sometimes i feel so far from who i want to be and from who i think i am.
I wish i could step through the mirror and merge with my reflection leaving nothing behind. Then i could just disappear where no one could find me.
Vanish leaving no trace of me left.
Float off into my own existence in my own world safe from all the rejection and shit life brings.

I doubt i would be missed anyway.

I just don't get me sometimes.