Silhouette.

Sometimes i sit and wonder do you know my name?
Do you even know who i am?
As you brush right past me and walk straight by.
Its me... Im in your class.

Im not some anonymous person,
Im a human being too
but what you havnt realised is what you've made me do.

There are cuts beneath my jumpers
that go deep beneath the skin
they go so deep they no longer hurt,
The pains long gone for now.

Its the way you make me feel small
so irrelevant in the world.
If only someone would notice,
my wounds are clear to see.

Its a lonely feeling that arises as i sit up in my room.
All thats there to comfort me is the blade, my only friend.

Noone here will stop me
I dont know theyd even care,
but as the blade cuts through the blood appears
and i know i am alive.

The blood that flows through the deep blue veins,
that my heart still pumps around.
Its strange how i feel so dead,
so lifeless and long gone...
but really, i am quite alive - its the blood that helps me see.

mabye one day you'll know my name.
mabye one day you'll know who i am
the day that you will read it all upon my grave.
The sanctuary that i will lie in
once ive let all the blood run dry.

Take What You Own

I'm giving my heart to you
Handing it over on a plate
I cut it out so slowly
Carefully with the blade,

I think it may still be beating
But I have no use for it anymore
You stole it from me years ago
Crushed it many times

Here, take it.
Take it from my hand
I'm holding it out to you
Why don’t you understand?

Isn’t it what you always wanted?
I thought that’s what it was
The way you reached inside me
Made it hard for me to stand


You've made me feel so foolish,
Done it yet again,
I'm finding it hard to breathe now.

And as you no longer want it
And I don’t need it anymore,

I’ll just lay down nice and quietly
Just lay down on the ground.

Endless.

As i listen to the music,

I'm swallowed by the sounds.

The beat begins to race my heart,
My thoughts arise from slumber.

I thought i had escaped the trauma
of my thoughts within,

But every time the music starts,
my brain begins to spin.

I thought i'd overcome those nights
where id lie awake and ponder,

But clearly, im not yet done
as my brain begins to wander.

What Really Goes On Behind Closed Doors ...

Just take a look through my looking glass,
My crystal clear green eyes.

They're so easy for you to see through
but you just dont want to try.

You stand there staring right at me,
You say you love only me,
but i know where you came from
and i know where you've been.

You dont just truly love me
You just love what you can do,
You grip my arm so tightly
Theres nothing i can do.

You have your way and then leave me,
Abandon me alone,
Soon you will be able to see the harm you've made me do.

You'll come home late at night again,
You'll find me lying dead,
You'll panic and run right back outside,
But you know they'll find the marks.

The hand prints tight around my wrists
The bruising deep inside,
Theres nowhere for you to run now
You're trapped inside my heart.

Confessions To Noone.

Who can i confide in?
Admit to how it is.
Living with this returning ache
For freedom from the mist.

The thick mist surrounds me
The fog lights cant break through
I cant see where im going to
I guess i'll stumble through.

I want them all to like me,
Not to be afraid,
To like how problem free i am,
Ive done quite well so far.

The burden only increases,
As day by day goes by
And nothing gives me a reason
To be feeling this ache inside.

Are You Willing...?

Iron Bar.

I walked away in pieces,
I sewed myself back up
Each stitch a tiny process
As painful as that stick.

The one that used to beat me
The one that used to burn
The one he used to heat up
And hold up to my skin.

Now I walk around and whole
After many stitches burst
They’ve all healed up so well
Finally gone without a trace.

I walk around in one whole piece
Alone and with no strain
There’s been no return of that big iron bar
And that’s the way it shall stay.

Backstage.

As the tears well up behind the lids,
The burning is intense
But i know i have to hold it in for my own personal pretence...

I can't break down,
I can't let go,
I mustn't let them see...

There's only one thing i can do,
I have to hold it in.

Mabye One Day.....

Who would notice?
Who would care?
Where would i be?
Where will you?

How can i leave when theres too much to leave behind.
Why are things all so intertwined
I live one life and Hide the rest
I live how i should be
I'll die how i am.

Merry-Go-Round

The room starts to spin
The Fear and Dread Return
My vision is blurry
Im lost in the moment
Im trapped in my Soul

My whole body trembles
My eyes search for an escape
Im getting dizzy and yet the room still turns
like the whole world around me
Round and a-round like a merry-go-round

An endless cycle; An endless track
How to stop i havnt a clue
what if i shut my eyes?
That doesnt help
and neither does this...

Theres no escape,
this is the moment im trapped in....
Its called my life.